Romance

“But in romantic texting, responding to a communication with silence happens all the time.” This quote is talking about the Nothing gambit which is something I have seen rampant throughout communication with my peers and especially potential love interests. The author talks about how we used to be able to pretend not hearing from someone that something has come up but now with the ability to check thier social media feed, we come to the ugly truth. We have no way of avoiding the fact that it’s not that they are unable to respond to us, but that they chose not to. Now in face to face conversation no one would ever be as rude to just blatantly ignore someones response, but online we have been trained to accept this. Our empathy slowly degrades as we react with “dignity” and ignore the hurt feelings which leads us to do it to others without taking their feelings into consideration. My question is when silence is met with more silence, where does the conversation go?

Another aspect of romance that has been manipulated by technology is rejection. The author uses the term friction free to describe apps such as tinder. We have put ourselves behind this shield so we don’t feel bad when we just “ghost” a person. I for one have been on the receiving end of this. I met someone through social media and we started talking but then one day out of the blue he no longer responded. Since I didn’t want to look bad I waited a few days to send another message but then when he didn’t respond to that I knew that he had moved on to the next. It shocks me how easy some people find it to just ignore other peoples feelings and with technology I think it is becoming more prevelent in our culture.

This chapter also references the difference between a maximizer and satisficer. A maximizer is someone who needs to be assured that every personal decision is the best that can be made. While a satisficer is someone who still has standards but are not haunted by a universe of possible choices. These people tend to be happier because instead of focusing on the “what if” of finding something better they learn to try and make the best of what they have. Our society has formed us into the maximizers. It is a depressing thought but it comes from us always on the lookout for the next new thing. With all these ways to connect with people online it seems as if our options are endless making us lose the ability to truly cheris the people we have.

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